Survivors’ Stories

Case studies, experiences and stories of male victims

of domestic abuse and are now survivors

Many men think the domestic abuse or domestic violence is only happening to them and no other man has suffered in the same way.

This is not true, as the Government’s own statistics show – one in six men will be a victim in their lifetime and one in three of all victims of domestic abuse are men.

Our help-line receives calls from all men – from dustmen to doctors, from bakers to bankers, from teachers to tradesmen – right across the UK and across the full range of backgrounds, ethnicities and sexualities.

To give any men the confidence to come forward and to reassure them that they are not alone, some of the men we have helped in the past tell their story and how they escaped and rebuilt their lives (names have been changed to respect anonymity).

Men tell their stories to ManKind

Mothers tell their stories about their sons to ManKind

Fiona’s Story
Paul’s Lavelle’s mother, Barbara (told to The Sun)

An inspirational poem by Anne Bunn

Men cry too

Men tell their stories – Radio and Recordings

Please see our YouTube Channel

When Women Abuse Men (Channel 5, 2021)
Paul and Steve talk about their brother/mate
Alex Skeel (BBC)
Oliver’s Story (BBC Radio 5)
20 Voices Documentary
Dorset Police / Bournemouth University (Cut Your Strings): Tracking and Monitoring, and, Isolation
BBC Radio 5 (Summer 2014) – story 1, story 2
Gary’s Story
Ken’s Story
Matt’s Story

Men tell their stories – Press and TV

Below is a list of media coverage where men have told their story to encourage other men to find the courage to get help or domestic abuse has been covered. The stories show the police will support you – if you recognise any other of this extreme behaviour, please get help – Call 999 and of course, call our helpline.

iNews (2020): John says he ignored some red flags early on in his relationship and now isolation has become ‘a pressure cooker’.

Daily Mail (2020): Hidden shame of male victims

Daily Mirror (2019) – Tony Hannington speaks out

Abused By My Girlfriend (2019): BBC (Alex Skeel)

Channel 4 (2018): Inside a Male Refuge

Daily Telegraph (2018): How Men Are Speaking Up

ITV News (2018): Brother of male victim urges men to speak out and get help

Daily Mail (2017): Martyn Brown speaks out to encourage more men to get help

Manchester Evening News (2016) : Sergeant Rob Bryan

Daily Mail (March 2016): Middle Class Husbands and Wives

Confined (short film) – characters are played by actors

BBC Cambridgeshire – No shame to be a male victim

Daily Mail (31 Oct 2014) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2815712/Woman-attacked-boyfriend-hammer-pole-broken-bottle-jailed-eight-years-one-worst-cases-domestic-violence-police-seen.html

The Independent (14 April 2013) http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/domestic-violence-as-a-man-its-very-difficult-to-say-ive-been-beaten-up-8572143.html

BBC Kent (09 August 2012)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-kent-19195433

Daily Mirror (8th March 2010) http://www.mirror.co.uk/life-style/real-life/2010/03/11/a-male-victim-of-domestic-violence-explains-why-he-was-living-in-fear-of-his-wife-115875-22101166/

If you are survivor, can you speak out?

Would you be able to speak up and help other men. The media sometimes contact the charity wanting to speak to men who have suffered from domestic abuse in the past.

If you feel you would like to share your story and give confidence to help more men to come forward, please contact the Chairman (chairman@mankind.org.uk) who will contact you confidentially to talk about this. At no stage would the charity ever give your contact details to the media without your permission on every single occasion.

The following sets out the process and you will need to be out of the relationship for a very minimum of two years.

Click for more explanation:Could you help other men escape?